If the Bachelor Took Place At University of Florida
yofray July 31st, 2017
The Bachelor holds the hearts of a majority of America as it leaves many questioning who will be swept away by the bachelor and live happily ever after. Whether you were team Raven or Vanessa, we can all agree that The Bachelor is amusing. But what if this show took place at an actual college campus? This is what would be expected if The Bachelor took place at the University of Florida;
Location: #120 bus stop located on fraternity row
The lovely ladies of the University of Florida would step out of the bus with their swell bottle in one hand and their cell phones in the other. Of course, about half of them would Snapchat themselves walking off the bus full of excitement and turn their cameras to face him: the bachelor. With a confident smile, the bachelor would kindly address himself with these simple words: “What’s up ladies? Looking dope. It’s me, Larry from Sigma Apple Pi”. Gowns and diamond earrings are the least of these ladies’ worries as they would stand comfortably in their leggings and oversized t-shirts.
Location: Fat Daddy’s
This group date would take place at Fats because this club is open to many and gives the ladies the chance to show their potential husband that they kill it in the classroom and on the dance floor. Of course, Kelly (one of the contestants) will know it’s her opportunity to prove that she can nail the lyrics to the song “Caroline” while only complaining about her feet hurting once. You can’t forget how the ladies would try to see who has bluest tongues from the slushies Fats’ serves in order to truly grab the bachelor’s attention. Fats would be the go-to for a group date because it allows the contestants to learn more about each other due to the 2 centimeters of space between them.
Two on one:
Location: Southwest Recreation Center
The two on one is always hostile and slightly uncomfortable simply because two ladies are forced to share the bachelor on one date. At the University of Florida, placing two gators in a competitive scene is always unpredictable and intense. With the colorful lighting of the Southwest Recreation Center along with its openness, the two on one would take place here. The ladies would participate in a race on the track located on the second floor in order to win the bachelor’s heart. When it’s time for the contestants to hit the weight room, the competition would get even more intense, as they hope to prove that they actually work out behind all of those posted gym selfies.
One on One:
Location: Library West
This one on one date at Library West will be quite intimidating due to its quiet atmosphere, but they will, unfortunately, encounter basically everyone they know – especially in the “facey section”. Since the bachelor may run out of his flex bucks, he would have to ask his date to buy her own soy latte. This one on one date would turn into individual study sessions since they both have that one stressful test coming up the next week. At the end of the date, the bachelor would ask if she would accept the final and rare burrito from the forever-closed Burrito Brothers instead of a rose because that is just as exquisite.
With the contestants’ hearts beating rapidly, the final decision would be made. The bachelor would gently place his hands on both of the ladies’ shoulders and finalize the season by deciding he actually does not want to be “wifed up”; at least for now. The bachelor would eat the final Burrito Brother’s Burrito to solidify his decision. Who needs a rose anyways?