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Whether you spend every waking moment in the gym or haven’t been back since January 1st these are all people we’ve seen while trying to get in a nice workout.

The Meathead:

2016 Pike Stickball League champions #dingersonly

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This is exactly the type of person that makes people intimidated by going to the gym. They’re always there and at this point, you just think they sleep at the bench press station when everyone goes home. The off-putting grunts they make as they lift somehow give off an eerie, animalistic vibe. So much so, that you’re scared if you ask them how many sets they have left they might just eat you to get the rest of their daily protein intake.

The Squad of Dimes:

This group of three to four girls is at the gym at the same time, same place, every day. Between their makeup and designer workout gear, they look like they’re fully prepared for a Nike photo shoot. They stroll into the gym as if they own the place and head straight for the squat rack or treadmill. You tried running next to them once but their cardio was inhumane. You’re now actually half convinced they’re the ones who power the gym’s electricity. If they’re not running or squatting, then they’re doing some other equally distracting lower body workout.

The Former High School Athlete:


This is the person who would have went D1 if it wasn’t for their vague injury. If you give them the chance, they’ll waste 20 minutes of your time showing you their Hudl highlights. You can easily identify this person by their clothing; if they consistently wear athletic gear with logos you don’t recognize, you’re most likely looking at one of these guys. They get a little too competitive during pickup games as they try to relive their glory days. You even saw one of them throw bows at an old man playing tough defense during a half-court scrimmage.

The Body Builder Chick:

"I may not be the strongest, I may not be the fastest, but I'll be damned if I'm not trying my hardest"

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Your first thought when you saw her was that she might have more defined arms than you do. You didn’t go to the gym for two weeks after that one time she did bicep curls next to you and you noticed she had you beat by 25lbs. You should probably ask her for her workout routine. I mean, who knows, she might become your favorite workout partner. She even said that she’d fight your psycho ex-girlfriend for you if she ever tried coming at you with a spork again.

The Elderly Couple:

This is possibly the most heartwarming thing you’ll ever come across while at a gym. The elderly couple, probably together for longer than you’ve been alive, working out alongside each other. There’s just something about seeing old people with sweatpants pulled all the way up to their ribcage that makes you feel all fuzzy inside. These individuals are the living proof that couples who work out together, stay together.

The Average Joe:

Nike Dri-Fit hat now available in White! Titleist Ole Miss Pro V1 hats are back in Red and White!

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This person isn’t anything special, but their inconsistent attendance is what really gives gyms their essence of diversity. They’re not trying to qualify for the Olympics by any means and yet aren’t the most inexperienced people in the gym either. This is the person you see at the gym who’s using that one machine in the corner that you never understood. They appear to genuinely be there for their overall health compared to just working on their triceps for three hours.

The guy that won’t stop looking in the mirror:

We're going back to back! @champagnepapi #anchorsplash

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This guy always chooses the ideal spot in the gym to watch himself workout. It doesn’t matter which machine he is using, he has mastered every possible angle in the gym in order for him to get the perfect view..You wonder how they got so big because they debatably spend more time looking at themselves than actually lifting weights. You’re not sure if their a true narcissist or if the poor guy just doesn’t own a mirror at home.

The guy that always teaches you how to work out:

You notice this person for this first time out of your peripheral vision. You wonder, “is this guy watching me?” Your not left wondering for too long because here they come with some piece of unwanted advice. You politely hear them out and now, three weeks later, you are in possibly the most one-sided friendship you’ve ever experienced. They somehow manage to slip in the fact that their “training” and in their “off-season” during your uncomfortable weekly conversations, but they never actually get around to telling you what it is their training for.


Author: Marco McCray

A Seattleite studying Multimedia Journalism at WSU. Also the PR Chair for WSU's Theta Chi chapter. Follow ya boy on Twitter and Instagram. Twitter: @MarcoMcCray2 Instagram: @marcoemccray

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